ST. CROIX LIVES IN LA JOLLA

First of all, all hail Wallace Cunningham. 
Thank you for this inspirition:

The Razor Residence, La Jolla, CA.



 99 CENTS - OR EMAIL ME AND I'LL BUY U A PAPERBACK COPY!!

Here's the inspired excerpt from Unrequited:d

December 31, 2009

“Jesus.” 
Cress and I pulled up in front of what looked like a slanted off ramp. Below us was Blacks Beach, next to us were edges of cliffs and further down below the house, or north, was Torrey Pines. In front of us a heath of oceanfront and at least three, maybe four acres. We could see the ocean only because the Wallace Cunningham designed museum had enough glass to peer through. Croix lived in a fucking museum.
We were spending New Year’s with St. Croix in La Jolla, where she would meet Cress for the first time. For the last three years she lived in Europe, wrote, and wore black leather and taffeta haut couture dresses while smoking at Le Georges in Paris. While wearing those dresses, she dated counts. Croix and her latest count purchased the Razor Residence (museum, residence, whatever) last year: a steel, concrete and—needless to say—glass structure occupying 11,000 square feet of jeweled cliffs. It belonged in an Iron Man movie. Maybe it was in an Iron Man movie, I wouldn’t know.
“Dearheart! You look so gorgeous, and so happy.” She greeted us as Cress opened up the back of the Range Rover. The 180-degree panoramic views of Southern Californian ocean lit up the entire structure and driveway, almost blinding you with white.
“Thank you. You look incredible,” I told her. We hugged long enough for a flock of gulls to fly over the house. She did look incredible; her vibe: St. Tropez/Jackie O./dash of La Jolla socialite. Metallic and buttercup yellow Pucci dress. Sally Hershberger extended, styled, and flaxen-colored hair. Rings and bangles bought on Bond Street in London and Via Condotti in Rome. She floated towards Cress with arms open. Not wide, but a distance that made it clear,
Maybe by Monday you’ll get full width. 
3 p.m.
St. Croix dragged me to bottles of wine and sparkling waters in the living room, which spanned both indoors and out. 
“Baby, what the hell has happened to you?” She bubbled as she asked.
“I don’t hate the latest B!”
“I see that.” She glanced at the Count and Cress smoking cigars on chaises by the infinity pool. If you could call it that; the extraterrestrialized hole filled with olive/silver/blue water didn’t look like a “pool” at all.
“Your pool looks like Pac-Man,” I told her.
Croix surveyed Cress. “Cute. Handsome, actually. And I won’t know till after the 
weekend but I’m hoping not a dork, and not a fucknut. Again, won’t know till after the weekend. You surprise me, Jan.”
“He’s kind of a dork.”
“Not surprised, and I bet you let him come to you, right?”
“I guess I did.” Surprised at my own answer.
I never thought about it. In fact I hadn’t thought about what Childless Brad Pitt warned me of years ago. 
“Told you.”
“I still don’t like the theory; are we 16? Please. So the Count pursued you?”
“Of course. He saw me on the Norway count’s yacht in Capri and within two days 
I was on his yacht in Capri.”  
“From?”
“Hungary. He’s the Hungary count.” 
We walked toward one of the glass doors from the living room. My long, blow-dried, ombré light brown/blonde hair blew in the breeze like an enlivened palm tree. A cliff jutted out, their only neighbor to the right. Croix’s stories (Capri? Yacht? Counts?!) were dreamy and extraordinary, but she still maintained her Santa Barbara starving (but never vodka thirsty) student charm. We both did. We were humbled and blessed. I promise. Two adjectives I would never have predicted to implant into my life. 
“Doesn’t matter how old they are, Jan, they’re hunters. And think of it this way, he found you, you didn’t find him. Worlds away from Fat Fuck.”
“Short.”
“Right, Short Fat Fuck.”
“The craziest part is, the other part of that theory, the “You only want what you can’t have” bullshit, I don’t have that. It’s almost the opposite. I wanted him even more when I realized he wanted me back.”
“You’re growin’ up girl. My baby’s all growed up.” She pulled me in and kissed my head.
A couple of hours before we rang in 2010, Croix and Cress ventured out onto the top floor of the “deck.” The non-deck was also the roof.
“You’re not my first interrogation,” Cress said jokingly.
“You’ve known January six months?” 
Croix probably thinks he’s a dork for saying “interrogation.”
“Dating for nine, 10, known her for a year or more.”
“Job? Family? Everyday bullshit?”
He laughed a true laugh, which was really an exhale of air from his nose 
combined with a smile. “Agent, two kids, an ex-wife.”
“Agent? An insurance agent?” 
Cress smiled, holding his scotch and peered left to Mission Beach and San 
Diego.
They chatted and laughed a few more minutes. St. Croix put a hand on his 
shoulder before St. Tropez/Jackie O./dash of La Jolla socialite. Metallic and buttercup yellow Pucci dress. Sally Hershberger extended, styled, and flaxen-colored hair. Rings and bangles bought on Bond Street in London and Via Condotti in Rome whisked away.
“Be whatever she needs you to be. She’ll take care of you if you let her, 
but be there for her. You’re lucky. I promise you, you are.”
“I intend to.” They faced each other and Cress let go of the glass railing. 
“Don’t fuck it up. All she has ever sought in life is love.” 










http://wallacecunningham.com
#WallaceCunningham
#Architect

BLACK FRIDAY TIPS



#BlackFriday is fast approaching. A few tips for the BIGGEST SHOPPING DAY OF THE YEAR


WEAR COMFY SHOES - It's usually a long day browsing and standing in lines so leave your #PUMPS at home.

REASEARCH - Look at item #REVIEWS online. Just because something is #CHEAP or on #SALE doesn't mean its a #GOOD product.

KNOW WHERE YOU ARE HEADED - Look up items that you want or need the most and see what stores carry them. This will save you time and help you make it to the most #STORES.

COMPARE STORES #DEALS - After you find what stores have your items, compare #PRICES. 

BRING STORE ADS & NOTES YOU MADE - This will help organize where you need to go for each item.  You can also print out maps of #MALLS and shopping centers so you aren't running back and fourth and you maximize your chance of finding or products.

BRING STORE CREDIT CARDS - Many stores offer extra #DISCOUNTS if you use their card. ***REMEMBER interest rates are usually higher on many stores, stay within your #BUDGET and plan on paying off your next statement.

EARLY BIRD & NIGHT OWL SPECIALS - Most stores change their hours to get people in before normal shopping hours. This is a great way to get all of your items. Most the time once a product is out of stock in the store that is the end of the sale.

ALWAYS GET A GIFT RECIEPT - This is a great time to go Christmas and birthday shopping. Gift receipts don't show the price you spent on the item but it can still be #RETURNED. 

BRING SNACKS & WATER - Again, it will probably be a long day.



BUY YOUR COPY OF 
UNREQUITED - ONE GIRL, 13 BOYFRIENDS, and VODKA 
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#BOOTS & #SCARVES

Almost that time of year again! GALS, we can layer up and accessorize with cute scarves and sexy boots! I secretly love this time of year because I can indulge a bit more on the sweets and am still be able to hide it. Shhhh :)

Changing of the season means #SHOPPING time again!

Boots are my absolute weakness! One can wear virtually any pant, skirt or dress...put on a pair of boots and look #SMASHING!

Scarves are amazing as well. Grab that boring old white tee in the back of your closet and throw on an adorable scarf. #CHIC

 Let's get back into JANUARY'S CLOSET!











UNREQUITED'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!

"IT'S MY PARTY and I'll CRY IF I WANT TO"...
or NOT!  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
ONE YEAR OLD AND GOING STRONG!

Unrequited-
One Girl, Thirteen Boyfriends, and Vodka

Today's blog:

AUTHOR INTERVIEW, PICS, 
SHOPPING, AND MORE!

buy it for $1 on:


 BUY UNREQUITED FOR A BUCK ON AMAZON TODAY








First and foremost, as the Author of Unrequited-One Girl, Thirteen Boyfriends, and Vodka I want to say THANK YOU to my loyal FAMILY, FRIENDS and FANS who have supported me along this very long, exciting, fun, nerve-racking and frightening journey.


Now a few questions for me...



1.What or who was your main inspiration(s) for writing Unrequited?


I was born two towns over from Pismo Beach, California (technicality because there was no hospital or maternity ward at that time) but the story really tells a 'Pismo Beach' story from an adult's perspective and how small town life can have such HUGE impact on the people who inhabit them. It is an intelligent look into what the drinking and philandering is all about. And how a city, just a few hours drive away (Los Angeles), impacts that lifestyle as well. 

2.  Over the past year have your feelings about the final copy of Unrequited changed? If so, how?

I don't want to say it out loud because it will probably jinx it and i'll feel the opposite way tomorrow! ha!
Let's just say I am proud of it. But a writer never stops wanting to tinker and change things. 
I don't think about that. I think about the next project.

3. Is there going to be a second book about main character, January Estlin?

No, not at this time.

4. Knowing all that you know and how long it took you to write Unrequited would you do it again?

Of course! I plan on it! Writing is the most beautiful (and horrific) gift. If that makes sense. I have to do it. But that doesn't mean I don't  start to whimper at the thought of working on a book. It's what i'm going through now. It takes all of my creative and emotional energy to tell stories. I don't think everyone is that way, or maybe every writer is that way. Maybe i'm just a pussy. 
It's fucking hard as hell and i like an easy lifestyle. It's complicated. I'm a lazy writer until i get into it then it's all i care about and focus on. However, just writing those last few sentences helps me. Tells me to forge ahead. Still life itself gets in the way so plans change but I will always write novels. 
I have too much to say!
It may not be in a timely manner - like a set once of year type of thing, but that isn't me.
 I don't commit that way.

5. What is your favorite line/quote in Unrequited?

Ooooh...that's a hard one. "Artless Motherfuckers." comes to mind.
Or maybe...
“Thank god for Vegas. Seriously.
A lobotomy wasn’t as effective as a weekend three hours of Red Bull away (from LA, not Pismo) where I wore the thinnest pinned stilettos, gambled like a sweaty degenerate mobster in black loafers, drank like Amy Winehouseand Charles Bukowski’s baby, and snorted the oat-dripping lines of coke in a Hard Rock Hotel bathroom with four new best friends. I’d
giddily rub off any one of those from the to-do list I wrote in eyeliner on my hotel bathroom mirror."

6.  Is there anything you would change or what have you learned from the experience of selling your first novel?

Not really. The publishing part will be less of an expense attribute next time and obviously will be much simpler. It was such (it is) an amazingly profound experiencee promoting the book with Kyrstin Pull, SVP of SEO at Waverly Blonde Books. She makes it all happen and keeps the book relevant in the eye of the reader and consumer. She is my rock star!


Happy Birthday Unrequited!

UNREQUITED - ONE GIRL, THIRTEEN BOYFRIENDS, AND VODKA IS TURNING ONE!

Christy Heron spent many years writing and rewriting her novel and finally in August of 2014 it was complete.



Unrequited has been an adventure to write and is most definitely an adventure to read.

Here are just a few quotes from Christy's fans:



I won’t forget this book. It has definitely marked the way I think about love. - Bella T.

Reminiscent of Bukowski's early work, this dark memoir features an unreliable narrator and black humor that I really appreciate. - Lindsey

"Unrequited" is the dark side of romance. Not bunny boiler dark but certainly not a fluffy romance with lots of laughs either. It's unforgettable and impossible to put down. - Cat Jones

You have got to love any story that begins with the line, “I blame Frank Sinatra.” Yet then caustically corrects that a bit later with the follow up, “It’s not Sinatra’s fault. I blame Ray Liotta.” - Heather G.

This book is definitely in a class all of its own. - Holly Newhouse


The use of the word "Drunk" recap/answer key in Unrequited-One Girl, Thirteen Boyfriends, and Vodka

How many ways can you say DRUNK? 

Or better yet how many ways have you  described the night before on your walk of shame/hangover the day after tying one on?

This is how many ways Unrequited used them:

1. Bashed
 







2. Barrellhouse Drunk
3. Bar-tuned
4. Befuddlement (ed)
5. Bendering
6. Betty Forded
7. Boris Yeltsined
8. Charlie Sheened
9. Creamulated
10. Daxxled
11. Dot cottoned
12. Drunk as 4 Billy Goats
13. Footloosed
14. Fur On His/Her Tongue
15. Gold-Headed
16. Graveled
17. Gut-Fucked
18. Had The Uglies
19. High As An Oregon Pie
20. Imbibed
21. Inabstinent
22. Legless
23. Lighting Myself Up Like a Firefly (Lit Up Like)
24. Lushingtons (The) = Drunks
25. Merle Haggard
26. Moulin Rouge (ed)
27. Muzzied (Muzzy)
28. Navy Sailor Drunk
29. Paralytic
30. Phalanxed
31. Puckered
32. Rat Legged
33. Red-in-th-face
34. Red-in-the-nose
35. Scumbled
36. Sloppy Tonk
37. Slurried
38. Snakebitten
39. Snockered
40. Spiflicated
41. Swacked
42. Tee-lit
43. Tile Counting (Counting Tiles)
44. Tippled
45. Trashato
46. (Riding The) Vodka Trail (or riding any [insert liquor trail] trail)
47. Vulcanized
48. Watering Your Tonsils
49. Well-Heeled
50. Wild Turkeyed (again you can use any booze for this)
51. Zambonied


Cheers !




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FIVE STARSSSSS


"Unrequited" is the dark side of romance. Not bunny boiler dark but certainly not a fluffy romance with lots of laughs either. It's unforgettable and impossible to put down. January's search for love in all the wrong places leads her to Jack, a high school friend of her brother who she first spies perched on a barstool in a beach side bar. The chemistry is instant, a lightening bolt strike, and from that point on the game is on. Never mind everyone warns her that he's an a-hole (even his friends call him that), she has to have him. I found the location of their first tryst to be ironically appropriate too, as if the relationship was dead before it even started.

I don't know a woman alive who can't relate to this story. I think we've all run across our own Jack at some point, an otherwise unremarkable guy who somehow makes us lose our minds and dignity in our determination to make him ours. If he'd shown slobbery interest in January she probably would have moved on quickly, but his callous regard addicts her. He tells her outright she only wants him because she can't have him but what she tells herself is he really likes her, wants her, and she'll have him. She calls him cocaine in the flesh and it's clear she won't walk away until she's hit rock bottom. As January goes through a slew of men, her fixation on Jack intensifies. It's unhealthy, unhappy, but she seems powerless to put a stop to it... until Cress comes along.


The drama and pain of January's journey was as addictive to me as Jack was for her. She's a beautiful disaster, the girlfriend we've all had, and you just can't help but stick with her and root for her to get back on her feet and get on with her life. And when at last she does, you cheer. Excellent writing with an ending that lets you breathe again.

JANUARY'S BATHING SUIT COLLECTION FOR 2015

Like most women, I shop any chance I get. Usually before I even think about my mortgage or cell phone bill I picture the latest Christian Louboutin pumps on my freshly manicured toes. With that, the accessories, the dress...and so on. 
How can a girl help herself? Its in our blood, I swear!

Although shopping may be my favorite pastime, shopping for the perfect bikini is by far the most tedious part of my brand therapy. The perfect gather in the rear. Halter or bandeau? Pattern, plain or mix-matched? One piece or two piece? 
These are all very critical decisions in the suit purchasing process.


HOWEVER, #1 rule to bathing suit shopping: DO NOT EAT PRIOR TO THIS ENDEAVOR! 
End result: you will leave empty handed.

Here is my shopping bag for this season:
Let me know what you think.


Cheers!

MIX-MATCHED, GATHERED BOOTY, BUT ALSO JUST ENOUGH PATTERN. THIS IS MY PARTY SUIT!

SOLID, BUT SOFT, CROCHET BACK AND GATHERED RUMP ADDS A HIT OF INNOCENCE. THIS IS MY "HOT TUB WITH A CUTE BOY" SUIT.
MUST ALWAYS HAVE A SUIT FOR NOT ONLY THE 4TH OF JULY BUT MOST OF ALL FOR OUR SOLDIERS. 

STRAPLESS, SOLID AND PRINT. STROLL ON THE BEACH TIME.

UNIQUE.

ALWAYS A WHITE SUIT. "YACHT AND SOME BUBBLY CAPTAIN."

THE ONE PIECE. THIS SUIT MUST BE THE PERFECT FIT. WHEN IT IS, PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR, PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR!


THE ULTIMATE JANUARY ESTLIN SUIT. NUFF SAID.


Happy Summer 2015!

WITHOUT MUSIC - LIFE WOULD BE A MISTAKE

THE SOUNDTRACK to

UNREQUITED - 
ONE GIRL, 13 BF'S,
AND VODKA


ACTION FIGURES - SAM LACHOW
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE - JOHN MAYER VERSION
COULD YOU BE LOVED - BOB MARLEY
SOMEBODY TOLD ME - THE KILLERS
SAY - GIRL IN A COMA
CELLOPHANE - SIA
STORM COMING - GNARLS BARLEY
STAY WITH ME - FACES (ROD STEWART)
DIET MTN. DEW - LANA DEL REY
SWEATER WEATHER - THE NEIGHBOURHOOD
MAPS - YEAH YEAH YEAHS
JAR OF HEARTS - CHRISTINA PERRIROLLING IN THE DEEP - ADELE
SLOW HANDS - INTERPOL
PYRAMIDS - FRANK OCEAN
KILL YOURSELF - TIMBALAND
COME AWAY TO THE WATER - MAROON 5
LUCK BE A LADY - FRANK SINATRAVIVRANT THING - Q-TIP
JOLENE - JACK WHITE VERSION
YOUR LOVE - THE OUTFIELD
TENNIS COURT - LOURDE
NEED YOU NOW - LADY ANTEBELLUM
LOVE IS BLINDNESS - JACK WHITE VERSION
YOU BELONG TO ME - PATSY CLINE